In Sickness and Health

Our Wedding Day

May 2002

What does this really mean? As we take these vows do we truly know the depth of the meaning of the phrase, “in sickness and in health?” I can tell you in hind sight I never understood it. I had an idea of it because I grew up with parents that vowed this, and stuck to it until the day my mom passed away from terminal brain cancer. But did I personally understand what that phrase meant? No, I did not.

I can say I know it now. I dare say that I am glad that when we wed nearly 11 years ago I did not fully understand what that phrase could mean. Why? Well, maybe that is a little blessing because if we would know what trials we would face in the future or what pain was ahead, it would be very difficult to vow these very significant words.

Days like today, I can struggle with these words. I can try to tell myself that at 35 years old I should not have to tolerate my husband yelling at me because he is getting angry because he can no longer do a simple task of just pulling weeds from flower bed without frustration. In today’s society I feel as though I could legitimately walk away and never look back all while feeling justified in doing such. Especially when I ponder the future; the future that very likely will be void of emotions. Are you kidding me? I didn’t sign up for that. There was no clause that said, “If I ever become mentally incapable of emotional connections you must stay married to me and never feel the intimacy of my love again.” Isn’t that the way contracts often are? That super fine print that gives all the disclaimers about a medication or gimmick.

Now face to face with that so-called “fine print” is when our love is truly tested in any relationship. I do not think one of us start a relationship thinking that it will NOT last through the test of time. I will be honest, there have been times when I think that we cannot make it through, but then I look beyond myself. I look above; I look at how the Lord has carried me through to this year. It is only by HIS love for me that I am able to press on and to love my husband more today because I did make that vow that I would be his bride until the day death parts us regardless of what may come.

5 responses to “In Sickness and Health

  1. I can SO relate to this post! Before my husband’s TBI, he was a different person. Now, he can get angry and frustrated very easily, and he often takes it out on me. It has changed our roles in our marriage as well. We are not partners. We are not equals. He relies on me for so much, and I think that is one of the reasons he gets so upset. He started taking an antidepressant, and that has helped him some. I walk on eggshells to keep him happy. It is not what I signed up for, but I too take my vows seriously. And I do love my husband.

    • I think one of the hardest things as it relates to equality in marriage was that I now have to filter what information I share with him. Even simple planning for the day has to be kept to an as needed basis because of how out of control he can get when things change throughout the day. We too have antidepressants in his meds, which you are right helps but certainly does not eliminate the issues. I am praying for you that you too will feel God’s love and that you will stay strong and keep loving your man for all God has designed him to be!

      • I agree that it is very difficult to be unable to share everything. I think that is why I started blogging. I need an outlet and I no longer can talk with my husband about things that upset me, or anything that could be stressful to him.

  2. Emotional connection. I believe that God can restore that in your relationship. I have every reason to believe and absolutely NO reason not to! I will begin praying. You let me know when you see improvement. 🙂 Greater is He that is YOU than He that is in the world! Amen? ((hugs))

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